When it comes to childsplay, Maria Rushe explains how she came to realise there are some things that can’t be done on WhatsApp.
“We don‘t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.”George Bernard Shaw
Over the past 4 months, playing has changed.
Our kids went from playing every day with a variety of other kids, enjoying all sorts of games and having all sorts of fun, to playing at home with the same person or people.
On a typical day, Mini-Me would have gone from playing with the bus kids, to playing with her classmates in the classroom, to playing with other kids in the playground, to playing with whoever was in afterschool, to playing with her sister at home.
On other days, add in the kids she played with at her drama/gymnastics/dance class and maybe even a play with cousins at the weekend…
It was Play Central really.
But isn’t that what childhood IS? Learning to make sense of the world through play and interaction?
The novelty of playing at home was great for a few weeks. And of course, my girls were so lucky to have each other. For every scrap or fight, there were hours of games and being best buddies. It helped.
It helped both them and us.
They spent most of lockdown outside in the garden. Swings, huts, dens, make believe adventures, talking to the cows in the field… I watched them living my 80s childhood, (with the added bonus of more than 4 TV channels and Disney Plus in the evening.)
I did have to stock up on lego and playdoh and crayons after about 7 weeks… but I didn’t mind. I like that they played so much with these.
It was lovely mostly. And the reality that our previously far-too-busy lives had been denying them such simple pleasures was not lost on me.
But they, like ALL children, got to the point where they missed their wee friends. Mini-Me took part in maybe five Wattsapp calls over the few months we were at home. She was so excited by them and so glad to see her wee friends, but in the final few weeks, didn’t really want to take part.
On the last call she had with one of her wee pals, she was so quiet that we thought the call had ended. When her Daddy looked into the room, she was sitting at her desk, colouring, with the phone set up beside her. Her friend was playing with her dolls on the screen. They weren’t really talking.
When Himself asked what they were doing, she looked at him as if he were stupid and answered, “We’re playing together.”
Simple. They aren’t grown ups who thrive on conversation and empathy. They aren’t teenagers who need laughs and craic and affirmation. They don’t yet know that they need conversation or companionship.
They simply wanted to play. Together.
That broke us a wee bit if I’m honest. All she wanted to was to play alongside her friend. So when last week, we were able to let her meet said friend for a play in the park, I’m not sure who was more excited, her or me.
The playpark was open. Both of us Mammies looked at each other, trepidation about whether to let them in on both of our faces. We were afraid. The kids were not. We both had hand sanitizer with us and figured they deserved to have fun, so they ran and down we calmed.
We sat watching them and listening to the sound that I never really listened to before; The sound of children playing; of running and laughter and squeals of delight and roars of fun. We listened to parents calling out to ‘be careful’ or to ‘stop that’. We listened to the sound of playing.
And we both agreed that it was just lovely. And that there are some things that can’t be done on a WhatsApp call.
As the sun sets on the “lockdown”, our children will have to learn many things over the next few months. They’ll need to learn about social distancing, and how to behave in certain situations, about hygiene and danger and how to go to places with new procedures in place. But they’re faster learners that we adults are.
And one thing they won’t need to learn again, is how to play.
They are our heroes and play is their superpower…