Thoroughly Modern Mammy Maria responds to a "sanctimammy" who recently caused controversy by criticising mammies who give their children fishfingers, and who enjoy a glass of wine at the end of a long day.
Let’s get it said…
This week caused thousands of Mammies in the UK and Ireland to post images of fishfingers and wine or gin, accompanied with defiant and determined retaliations to a DISGUSTING piece of journalism.
Most of you know what I’m referring to.
Without directing any more hits to the sordid rag and its wannabe “Times Top Ten Bestseller” Mammy, let me paraphrase what the Sanctimammy wrote:
“If you complain about your beloved children, or if you feed them frozen food and if you drink alcohol, you are a disgrace to the gift that is mammyhood. Shame on you, you “Slummy Mummies”. Keep your worries and frustrations to yourself. Be a good Mary-of-the-poppins there won’t you. No reality around here please you wenches.”
She “mum-shamed” 4 popular Mammy bloggers in the UK, posting images of their children smiling at the camera, while simultaneously SLATING their unloving, incompetent and “inept” mothers for being…well, for being REAL.
Because although Mammies do OF COURSE love being Mammies and love our children, sometimes, we have bad days.
Parenting Blogs and parenting pages/forums are an important platform for modern parents.
They are not necessary of course. Many parents “parent” just fine without online parenting pages or blogs. For crying out loud, most of our parents “parented” just fine without even having a phone in the house. (Shudders) I can only imagine how lonely many of our own Mammies were. Mammies today feel lonely regardless of how many “friends” or “followers” we have. Being the only adult in a room full of minions can be lonely.
Sometimes we need to complain, or rant, or cry. Sometimes we need to laugh. Sometimes we need to read (or see) that someone else has had the same kind of day that we have. Sometimes we need to read something that helps us realise that our problems aren’t quite so dreadful.
We need to relate to other mums and realise that we are not the only mammy feeling like crap this evening. Just because I feel like I’m the absolute worst mum in the world at a particular moment, doesn’t mean that I am. And sometimes, reading other bloggers makes me look at my life through different eyes.
Ok. Not all mums drink alcohol. Of course not. But, whether you enjoy having a glass of wine or a bar of chocolate or going to a zumba class, if you have a way that YOU unwind after a long week or a difficult day, it’s nobody’s business but yours.
And if you sometimes feed your children fishfingers, what…EVER!
If you like to read the rambles of bloggers to escape your own reality after the kids have gone to bed, good for you.
If you’re able to admit that parenting is feckin’ HARD, good for you.
If you’re able to love your children so much that it cripples your soul, but can admit that sometimes you don’t particuly LIKE them, good for you.
And if you, like me, stay sane by mumbling about the trials and tribulations of the gift of Mammying by blogging a semi-fictional blog, (gasp! It’s not all real?!) … good for you too.
Once again, we’re back to what seems to be turning in to my mantra… “Don’t be a Sanctimammy”.
No parent is perfect. And no parent should EVER JUDGE ANOTHER PARENT. We’re all winging it aren’t we?
If you disapprove of how I am dragging, sorry bringing, up my girls, or if you tut that I enjoy a glass of grapes, or if you despair at what my children eat/wear/say/think/do…feel free to NOT tell me, because like Mrs “Pushy Mummy” and her evaluation of 4 Mammies she has never met and DOES NOT KNOW, your opinion is about as useful to me as a chocolate teapot.
If, as a parenting blogger, I can make ONE Mammy think “Ok, it’s not just me”, or make one Daddy laugh, then I’m proud to be a “Slummy Mummy”… although I much prefer the term “Glammy Mammy”.
Be the best Mammy you can be. THAT’S all that matters.
#solidaritea #fishfingers #slummymummy