Counsellor Sarah Barr shares tips for rebuilding confidence after the major changes of motherhood.

Researchers found that most mums experience a significant dip in self-esteem after having a baby that can last up to three years.


This is regardless of the mother’s relationship status, job situation, and level of education.

How does the mask of confidence slip?

How do we lose confidence?


The majority of mums feel less than confident about their new post-baby body.

You feel unsure about what to wear to suit your new shape.
You may feel more self-conscious in front of your partner.


The physical side of a relationship can change — thanks to exhaustion, dealing with the physical and emotional impact of the birth, and the demands of life with a newborn.


Here are a few tricks that can make the return to work easier and help to rebuild confidence:

Stay in touch: Check in and say ‘Hi’ to colleagues.

Meet your boss for a coffee before you’re due back to work.

Go back mid-week, ease in slowly without doing a full week.

Take your time to re-adjust back into your ‘work’ role without adding pressure to yourself.

How Can I Be Confident?

Do you ever wonder what it is about some people that makes them so confident?

So completely comfortable in their skin and radiating such positive, charismatic energy?

I used to wonder this too.

And then I learned that confidence really comes down to one incredibly simple thing.


When you’re “owning it,” it means that you’re totally and completely at peace with who you are.

You make no apologies for being awkward, nervous, excited, loud, soft spoken or other…

You’re Just You.

Whether it’s your opinions, emotions, feelings, words or choice of dessert, just own it.

Don’t give a single thought to what anyone else would think of what you’re doing.

You’re you, you want what you want and you do what you do.

If you’re feeling sad or moody, just own it.

Be sad, be moody.

Are you nervous?

Own it.

Tell everyone that you’re nervous.

  • Be Mindful

When you stop engaging in the present moment and begin to think about how you look, sound, feel, smell, etc., you’re creating an immediate disconnect.

You immediately lose confidence.

This loss of confidence creates an energetic wave that is felt by everyone in the same room.

When you catch yourself engaging in a thought cycle rather than the present moment.

Speak, take in the smells, notice the textures that you can feel.

  • Be Assertive

Being assertive is a core communication skill.

It means that you express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view.

Being assertive can also help boost your self-esteem and earn others’ respect.

This can help with stress management, especially if you tend to take on too many responsibilities because you have a hard time saying no.

If you would like to talk further I can be contacted via my Facebook page or by calling 086 4477867.

Confidence can grow and there are loads of techniques available to help you do this.


Take Care ~ Sarah.