Maria Rushe shares her thoughts on people who judge others for sharing their lives online. Do you agree?
“I don’t doooooo Facebook.”
“I don’t doooooooooo Instagram.”
“I don’t doooooooo social media.”
Do I have a problem with any of these statements?
Of course not.
There are no rules to say that we have to do any of the social media platforms we choose to sign up to, are there? And I know many people who have signed off social media, for various reasons, and who simply and politely say “I’m not on Facebook anymore” if I make reference to it.
But see, when the “dooooo” is accompanied by a ‘duh’-sneer, then, I “doooo” have a problem.
Because if you are involved in a conversation about something that was on social media, and you announce that you “don’t doooooooo social media”, with a snarled lip and a rolled eye, then what you are dooooooing, my Darling, is being mean.
Because your inference is that the other people in the group are silly or sad or even pathetic for still partaking in the odd scroll.
Now, I am the very Doll who warns often about the ability that Social Media has to suck us into its wormhole; of the powerful effect that it can have on our mood and on our lives. I give talks on reading Instagram and recognising the falsity of it.
I’m pretty adept at knowing myself if and when I need to ease up on my own scrolling.
And yet, I enjoy the interaction I get online. I read interesting articles. I see people I like doing well in things. I’ve met lovely people (and a few loopdies too!) and I enjoy when content is clever.
I can keep up with news and current affairs and I enjoy the conversations that I have; both ONLINE and ABOUT what is online.
It’s becoming quite frequent to hear people say that they’ve deleted their FB app from their phone, or that they’ve logged off Instagram, but many of those who say that they “don’t DOOOOOOO” social media still have their accounts and still have a snoop every so often. Nothing wrong with that is there? No.
And indeed there is nothing wrong with deciding that you are no longer going to share stuff on your social media profiles. If I’m honest, I rarely use my own private account. I write and post on my blog’s social media. But as for my own personal accounts, they’re pretty quiet.
But do I ever snub or scoff with a “I don’t doooooooooo facebook” or “I have better things to be doing than scrolling thank you,” or “That social media is such a waste of time”?
Because I’m not a judgy pants. I don’t feel the need to demean your decision. And I don’t think I’m better than you because I DOOOO Doooo social media.
Imagine if I did it next time I’m in a restaurant.
Waitress – “Did you see the dish with the tomato?”
Me – “Eh No, I don’t DOOOO tomato?”, raise my eyebrow as if the waitress is the most stupid cretun I’ve ever encountered and then dismiss the rest of the conversation as irrelevant, given that it’s based on tomato, (which I don’t dooooo…) How would that go down?
Not well. Because whether I do or don’t do tomato is really not that big a deal, is it?
I’d imagine she’d think me a rude cow actually.
She might even post about it on Facebook…
I wonder how it would work if those of us who do still partake in the scrolling and social media-ing were to say things like
“Eh NO, I don’t doooooo Netflix binges” or
“I don’t dooooooooo gardening. How sad!” or
“I don’t dooooooooo watching TV”.
I wonder how the people who can talk for hours about the TV show they love to watch, or the podcasts they like to listen to, or indeed the books they read, or the crosswords they like to do, would feel, if I looked at them as if they were deluded, and sympathetically announced that “I don’t understand how they could be bothered” or that “I have better things to be doing than colouring in”?
And sure, I probably wouldn’t get an answer would I?
Because I’m posting this on social media and so they’re all too busy off “NOT DOOOOOOOING social media” to see it, aren’t they?
Or are they?