The S-Mum says that when mothers discuss their negative childbirth experiences, it can have a lasting effect on new mammies. Instead, mums should focus on the positives.
I had a conversation last week with my friend who had her first baby at Christmas. He’s gorgeous and while he slept snuggled on top of me, I had to admit, I had a “Be still my Beating Ovaries” moment. (moment. Trust me. It passed!)
She was telling me how terrified she had been. And she told me how amazed she was when the whole thing was over and she realised that she had DONE it, without meds or trauma.
She hadn’t believed that she could do it and she was still shocked at the fact that she had.
In her final few weeks, she had stopped reading online forums because the horror stories she’d read. And she was right of course. As with all areas of life, we tend to tell the dramatic or nightmare stories of childbirth, before we share the positive ones.
Mammies tend to boast our horror stories, rather than remember any positives if we had them.
It’s like a badge of honour, a rite of passage… “You think THAT’s bad? Wait until you here what happened me/ such-in-a-wan…”
Giving birth is terrifying whether it’s your first time or your sixth, but it is also the most natural thing in the world, isn’t it?
Our bodies are designed for it. Women have been giving birth for millions of years. And yet, it’s also perfectly natural to be completely terrified. It’s new. It’s unpredictable. It’s painful.
Usually, unless there are complications or you run into difficulties, most Mammas manage to bring their little minions into the world without too much drama.
So let’s help my lovely Glammy Mammy out and share some birth stories WITHOUT the horror stories.
Both of my births were by scheduled C-Section, for medical reasons and well called by my consultant. Both were painful, with their own complications and recovery, but both resulted in birth.
And as much as no one wants surgery on top of childbirth, I have to say that both were calm and positive and (dare I say), enjoyable, and that I was looked after beautifully by the midwives at Letterkenny University Hospital.
And as unwell as I felt, and as terrified as I was, and as painful the recoveries, both were worth every single ache and pain.
So there you go. Nothing overly eventful thank God.
(And if you’re currently wanting to slap me and grumbling about how crap YOUR experience was, let me clarify that my last one was so “enjoyable” that I’ve sworn NEVER to do it again, but I AM focusing on the positives here and I salute you Mamma).
Did you have a positive birth experience? If you did, share it below or on my Facebook page and help me convince all of our Mammies to be that it’s not all rips and stitches and poo and pain…
That actually, it can be quite lovely and empowering and memorable – If you had that experience, I am not at all jealous!