This week Moville writer Sharon Thompson shares another tale exploring the life of local women.
Each Sunday this series will showcase works of literature written by local women for readers to enjoy.
This week Sharon discusses the trials and tribulations of attempting to remain fuzz-free, and hilariously narrates the various methods employed by women to remove their body hair.
So grab a cuppa, put your feet up, and enjoy this morning’s story.
Hair today, gone tomorrow
Most men only get waxed for charity. Doesn’t that tell us ladies something?
Also it’s bizarre to think that hair removal has to be done when we are having ‘me’ time or pampering ourselves. Hullo?
Yes, men remove hair from their face. But it seems like an almost pleasurable experience. If they choose not to shave that’s fine too. Designer stubble is allowed. Goatees, moustaches, Vikingesk beards; they all have an appeal.
Facial hair on a woman though? Whooh! Despite plucking, threading, tweezing and ripping hair off, we’ve now taken to drawing more hair onto our eyebrows? What are we like?
Leg hair and underarm hair is impossible to reach in its entirety. It’s never as serene as the advertisements where an elegantly toned leg sits on the edge of a bath. There’s far more panting, cursing and slipping in the shower. And if you wear glasses, you are bound to have missed a whole furrow of fuzz on the inside of your calf.
Never while hell is hot, could you smile while using a hair removal device. If a device actually works, it is like a torture device.
Don’t even mention the hair removal creams. They reek. Can’t you smell them just thinking about them? And we should never mention about when, in a sleep-deprived state, we tried to use the cream as a toothpaste!
Can you imagine a normal Donegal man’s face if the latest beauty trend involved his nether region’s hair being sculpted into some sort of shape?
And we give the styles fancy names? What names might we give a man’s speedo waxing?
I know there’s a man’s ‘back, sack and crack’ but japers we wouldn’t put the critters through that on a regular basis. Would we?
LASER! We take it off with lasers now too. I can sense the burning pain from here.
‘But there’s a satisfaction and cleanliness in beautiful, smooth skin,’ I hear you say. There is indeed. But it doesn’t last long and then you have the stubble and itch of regrowth… I know… enough said there.
Maybe next time we are getting the legs waxed we could invite along a crowd, have alcohol and get ‘paid’ for the pain, as a crowd hollers encouragement?
Or maybe we’ll decide that winter is coming, so we’ll let the body hair go feral, for a while? Who’s with me?
Sound relatable? Be sure to share this story with any of your friends who know the feeling!
Sharon is the co-founder of #WritersWise a trending, writers’ tweet-chat (www.writerswise1.wordpress.com).