Donegal Woman’s Words: Author Sharon Thompson shares a funny tale many of us have experienced when we put our hopes in online shopping.
Moville writer Sharon Thompson this week presents another short story exploring the life of local women. Her quick snapshots of everyday events have become an enjoyable read for so many Donegal women on Sunday mornings.
If you’ve ever shopped online after a quiet tipple at home or you’ve been exasperated by unreliable shop sizing, then this one will be a very familiar tale. It’s nice to know we’re not alone with our stubbornness too!
When the Little-black-dress is a Large.
You’re gasping after a hard day and have poured a glass of wine. You’re also content to literally sit on the mound of ironing. Himself has the remote in a vice-grip, so you flick open the promotional email from a clothes store.
You never, ever fit into anything in their changing rooms. No matter how much you grunt and stretch the fabrics. But whether it’s the wine or your usual denial – you flick on regardless.
Up before you pops the ideal little-black-dress. ‘Black’s slimming and goes with everything,’ you tell yourself and his snoring-self.
It has three quarter length sleeves to cover the bingo-wings. The wrap-around style could be tricky with your bum and boobs…. but the girl in the photo is well endowed and although you have to admit she has slimmer knees, you think – ‘I’d look good in that.’
It’s in the basket. Size? Large. ‘Just to be on the safe side.’
You scroll on with a wined-woman’s enthusiasm. Being the good wife that you are, you remove many items that you ‘lurve’ but that dress is gorgeous. It stays. You hit Paypal with a satisfied slurp.
The parcel (after fifteen emails wondering where it is) comes.
The plastic is hard to open in your enthusiasm. Labels and wrapping are torn asunder to get to the long-awaited dress. You hold it up to the light and see through it but you undress in a fever of delight. Put your arms in the sleeves and …
The wrap-around dress won’t wrap. At all. Pull as you might the sides barely meet. There’s no way this is a large? Off with it cursing. There’s a big L on the label lying on the floor.
The large black dress is little!
‘It’s not my fault,’ you tell Himself. ‘It’s false marketing and the sizes are all different.’
‘Return it? Ah No. I’ll slim into it.’
Check in next week for another story from Sharon!
Sharon is the co-founder of #WritersWise a trending, writers’ tweet-chat (www.writerswise1.wordpress.com).
Read last week’s story from Sharon here: