Counsellor Sarah Barr explores how knowing your worth can help you say 'no' to others.
Why is it so difficult to say “no”?
Having people think negatively of you is the ultimate rejection.
This is a reason many people find it difficult to say “no”.
By not saying “no”, can lead to people-pleasing, stress and sometimes resentment as you are not staying true to yourself.
Know Your Worth
If you live your life depending on other people’s approval, you will never feel free and truly happy.
Instead something like this may happen:
• After committing to something, doubt sets in and you start to think of all the ways you can get out of it.
• If you don’t have any good excuses, you then have to decide if you are going to tell the truth or come up with a lie.
Other Ways to Say “No”
If you find it to difficult to say “no” straight away, because it is a word you aren’t comfortable using.
Try the following phrases:
• “I am sorry I can’t”.
• “I am afraid I won’t be able to”.
• “I can’t commit to anything at the moment”.
• “I don’t have the time”.
• Sometimes preparing a script can be helpful. Sit down and write out different scenarios and your new response.
• By replying using “I”, you are owning what you’re saying, which will boost your confidence and help you feel in control.
• Keep your response short and to the point. There is no need to justify, explain or feel guilty.
• If you genuinely don’t want to do something or you can’t, that is ok. You are prioritising yourself.
• By rehearsing your reply or typing them into your phone, can help you feel more prepared for saying “no”.
Over time you can build on becoming more direct, and say statements such as “no, I can’t” or “no, I don’t want to.”
Your self-worth does not depend on how much you do for other people. Learning to say no can help you stay authentic to who you are, feel in control and empowered.
If you would like more help or support in saying “No”, New Beginnings offers Counselling in Moville, Buncrana and online.
Or private message via Facebook for more details, to book a free consultation or a session.
Take care ~ Sarah.