Father's Day can be all about family, Toblerone, socks and carveries, but it's important to be aware of different perspectives, writes Maria Rushe.
This column was harder to write than I had anticipated.
Because no matter what angle I approached it from, I found myself anticipating the negative comments from other people.
I am blessed to have only wonderful father figures in my life. My own Daddy is the actual, official “King of all the Daddies in the world”. (That is an indisputable fact and anyone who declares their Dad to be better, is wrong. Don’t even try to argue.)
But even though Daddy G is indeed The King of all the Daddies in the world, to me, I would also argue that My Him is the King of all the Daddies in the world too.
And therein lies my problem, see?
If you are reading this thinking, “Well actually love, MY Dad is The King of all the Daddies in the world“, then YOU are right too. But he is only the King of all the Daddies in the world TO YOU.(and your siblings!)
And if you are thinking “Hold up there S-Mum, my partner is actually The King of all the Daddies in the World, you silly mare!”, you are right too.
Because, we only see things from our own perspective, don’t we?
Today, those of us who can visit or call our Dads are blessed. There are so many who wish they could,
Today, like Mother’s Day and Christmas and every other day of the year, is difficult for so many people.
There are empty chairs at so many tables, and they seem even more empty of days like today. To my Lovelies with this perspective, I send my love today.
Others will read this and roll their eyes, because Father’s Day means little to them for one reason or another. That’s OK too.
Many Fathers will spend today surrounded by their family, opening endless bags of socks and Toblerone. There will be packed carveries and Mr Hall-of-the-Mark shall be rolling in his money from all the cards and utter crap that we have binge bought over the past few days. There will be lunches, and dinners and grandchildren playing and hugs and general appreciation for what we appreciate every day, but don’t always say.
But so many Fathers will spend today missing their children. Perhaps because of distance. Perhaps because of circumstance. Perhaps through choice. Perhaps because of someone else deciding they can’t see their child. And while there are of course, so many who spend today alone for so many reasons, it is important to remember that those who are broken-hearted today, are still Fathers.
Like Mother’s Day, Like Christmas, everyone’s perspective of Father’s Day is tinted by their own experience and their own story. While one person curses the day for the memories it stirs, another celebrates the day because of the year they’ve had. One person hates the day because it makes them angry, another celebrates it because it makes them happy. One person breaks their heart the whole day, another doesn’t give it a second thought.
What is it anyway? It’s just a day. It’s only a day. But if you are in a position where you are blessed enough to have a Daddy or a Grandad or Stepfather or any Father-figure in your life, enjoy it.
Enjoy celebrating them and all they do for you. Call them. Visit them. Enjoy every second of today.
Because like every other day, we never know what is around the next corner. We never know when our worlds will change. And we never know how important seemingly unimportant days like today are, until we are forced to change our perspective.
And so you see why I found this difficult. Because my perspective will not always be the same as that of my reader, but that does not mean that one of us is wrong.
Whether you are celebrating today, or not, have a wonderful Father’s Day. xx