Counsellor Sarah Barr shares steps to help you appreciate yourself and your achievements in a new perspective.
“Take pride in how far you have come & have faith in how far you can go”.
Sometimes it can be difficult to judge how well we’re doing in life. We compare ourselves to others in our age group, we are told by society by a certain age we SHOULD be or have…
Yet all this does is take the focus of how well we are actually doing in life.
By striving to be the best version of ourselves and working towards accomplishing our dreams can only lead to a more authentic and happier life.
At times we may rely on the judgement and validation of others or certain qualifications and achievements to let us know how well we’re doing. Or sometimes we believe that we don’t deserve to be proud of ourselves or proud for all we have overcame and achieved.
For this reason I have listed 8 signs below to show you that you’re in fact doing well in life and what steps you can take to help you believe that.
1. You have food, water and a roof over your head
By remembering that many people do not have these basic needs met, it can at times put things into perspective.
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”
– Dr Wayne Dyer.
2. You have survived difficult and challenging times
It is how you come through difficult and hard times that defines your achievements.
If the challenges you have faced in the past has taught you something useful then you have learnt something new about yourself.
Sometimes these struggles you may face are directing you on a new journey to where you need to be.
3. You can find the positives in a situation
Finding the positive in the situation can be difficult at times. If you struggle to do this, by reminding yourself of what you’re grateful for or the le lesson you have learnt, can help you find the positives.
By finding the positivity in your life you will attract much more happiness and opportunity.
4. You have an internal locus of evaluation
Another sign you’re doing well in life is that your sense of self-worth and self-esteem comes from within (internal locus of evaluation).
When you have an external locus of evaluation you rely other people for validation and acceptance. This may mean that your self-esteem and self-worth will never be stable.
By relying on your own judgement and reminding yourself of your positive qualities and strengths will help you in valuing yourself.
“Self love, self respect, self worth. There is a reason they start with ‘self’. You can not find them in anyone else”.
5. You can accept that you can’t control everything
It can be hard to accept that you can’t control everything. We can’t control the behaviour of other people, but we can control how we react and respond.
By accepting this it will impact greatly on your own personal development. By focusing on what you can control and change will lower stress and anxiety.
6. You are open to new relationships
It can be frightening to trust and let the barrier down, especially if you have been hurt in the past.
By giving people a chance you are opening yourself up to new experiences and possibly love.
If you’re able to do this be excited about the possibility of new relationships, both platonically and romantically.
7. You avoid negativity
If you have raised your standards and have decide to no longer tolerate negative behaviour from others or to be consumed by negative drama you’re are doing well in your emotional life.
You ae holding others accountable for their actions and no longer personalising and taking responsibility for them.
It can be difficult to do this, however by building assertiveness will help you create boundaries.
“Not my circus, not my monkeys” – Polish Proverb.
8. You can forgive
Being able to forgive yourself and let go can take time. So be gentle with yourself.
By understanding the reasons for your decision or action and how you felt at that time can help in forgiving yourself.
Ask yourself what have you learnt and what positives can you retrieve from that decision or action, how has it changed your life?
We all face testing times throughout our lives and sometimes during these times we may need to reach out. Ask for help and support.